‘Twas the day before Christmas
And all through the school,
The teachers reflected
On Michael Gove’s rule.
The changes had come
So thick and so fast,
It felt like a decade,
Not one year had passed.
~
Content reforms
Caused such a furore,
Tales of the Brits,
White men and their glory,
Caused history teachers
All over to sob,
Then tears turned to anger –
Watch out, it’s ‘the Blob!’
~
The papers were rallied,
The battle was waged,
“They will learn the Heptarchy!”
Mr Gove raged.
“Athelstan, Monarchs,
Plantagenet rule,
They must know it all
By the time they leave school.”
~
“A self-serving myth!”
the historians retorted,
Though one which David
And Niall supported.
On national TV
Came Evans’ riposte,
But it all seemed too late,
The battle was lost.
~
And then in a twinkling,
A few “minor tweaks,”
A U-turn!
The freedom to choose what we teach!
Now it seems ‘Levels’
Are on the way out,
Another rare thing
To be happy about.
~
Historians respond
To this news with glee,
But not all headteachers
Want to be free.
“What will we show
When Ofsted arrive?
We need some hard data
If we want to survive!”
~
GCSE, A Level,
The change is non-stop.
“End the race to the bottom –
Get Britain on top!”
No more CA,
Or SHP capers.
It’s spelling and facts
And three hour papers.
~
Say goodbye to resits,
Cram well in advance.
You must get it right,
There’s no second chance.
Though according to Cummings
Ain’t much you can do,
Success in exams
Is down to IQ.
~
The children sat silent,
In rows, in the hall,
The spectre of failure
Hanging over them all.
‘A star’s at the front
And ‘U’s at the rear,
Or are they ‘Grade 1’s now?
I’m really not clear.
~
Up in the staffroom,
The teachers all sighed.
“What will become of us?”
The historians cried.
“We must make it work,
We must get it right!
Use our new freedoms
And keep up the fight.”
~
The final bell sounded
The end of the day,
The flight to the car park
Began straight away.
But I heard them exclaim,
As they walked out of view,
“We’ll meet next year head on!"
How about you?